21 And Living With My Boyfriend


Having my own house was something I always used to dream about as a child. Thinking about how I would decorate it, what furniture I'd have and what the colour scheme would be. Having a home is something I didn't picture having until I was much, much older, but in fact I already live in my own home, with my boyfriend, at the age of 21.

I moved in with Aidan when I was only 18. We'd been going out for 6 months and it happened very much by accident. He was staying in his own place and over the course of the first few months of our relationship, my stuff started to slowly move from my flat, to his house. When we had been living together for a year, we were given an opportunity through a family member to move into our first home together, so we did. Having your own home, and living with someone is such a challenge when you're as young as we are, and I can't say it's been smooth sailing for the four years that we have now been together. 
I am a perfectionist and a control freak, whereas my boyfriend is the most laid back person you could possibly meet. Although this did make things hard at first, we have learnt to live together and be happy with the routine that we share.  
A home comes with a ton of responsibilities, which at my age seems daunting, but it didn't take long for me to adjust to the ton of commitments that comes with owning a home. Living with someone at such a young age comes with it's own barrel of responsibilities, and it does sometimes take a while to get used to sharing your space. It didn't help that we decided to get a very energetic border collie to add to the mix of our mountain of responsibilities! 

If you are a young homeowner or living with your partner, I have come up with a few tips to make your life a little easier. These tips certainly helped me!

Sort out who does what

It's very tricky when you live with someone to sort out who does what. When we first moved in together, my boyfriend was working full time whereas I was only working a few days a week. So, naturally it was me that did the majority of the household chores. However, when I started university, we had to share the jobs. Figuring out who does what is sometimes a tricky task, so my boyfriend and I bought our 'chore chart' where we write down what chores need to be done and who does them on a weekly basis. This meant that we could share the chores equally between each other and be less stressed. We got our chore chart from amazon, and you can find similar ones here.

Dedicate time to spend together 

When you live with someone you can sometimes get into a routine of sitting in front of the tv on opposite ends of the couch, or sitting in separate rooms. Although it's nice to feel comfortable enough to be separated, sometimes it does leave you feeling more like roommates than partners. I think it's important to dedicate one day a week to each other, where you spend the full day with your other half, doing a fun activity and enjoying each others company. I think it's also important to eat dinner together every night and chat about your day to one another. It gives you a chance to reconnect and not fall into the routine of seeing each other for a few hours a day. My boyfriend and I work out one day a week that we dedicate to each other, whether that's a trip to the cinema, or making pancakes for breakfast, it gives us a chance to reconnect and appreciate each others company. We have just recently got back from a weekend away, which we booked so that we could spend some quality time together after the hectic first month back at work and uni. 

Stop texting 

I think it is super important when you live with your partner to not text so much throughout the day. The odd 'hope your day is going well' or a 'how you doing' text is fine, but texting every second isn't doing your relationship any favours. My boyfriend and I will send a few texts throughout the day and a phone call on his lunch break and then we don't speak until we are both home together. By texting every single aspect of your day to each other, you have nothing to speak about when you get home, meaning the conversation is stilted and you end up sitting in silence. Hold off on that text until you get home and talk about your day when you are both together. 

Have your own space

As much as you may love your partner, everyone needs their own space every once in a while. If Aidan and I spend too much time together, we end up getting grumpy and annoyed and little 'heated discussions', as I like to call them, seem to happen more frequently. Make sure you both have your own little room in the house to call your own, that you can retreat to if you're feeling like you don't want to socialise. I enjoy my own company very much and sometimes I get moody if I spend too much time around people. It's beneficial for both of us to have our own spaces to go to, if we feel like we need some time apart. I have my office and Aidan has his gaming room where he plays xbox and chats with friends. It's important to have time apart, but still be comfortable in the same home.

Have different interests

This point kind of follows on from the previous one, but it is super important to have separate interests outside of the relationship. Sometimes when you move in with your partner, your whole life becomes centred around them and it can cause you to drift away from close friends and even family. I think it's very important to go and spend time with friends and family away from your partner, so that you can take some time away from the relationship. By having this time apart it means that my boyfriend and I not only have more to talk about, but it makes us appreciate the time we do spend together. Make sure you don't neglect friends and family when you move in with your partner. 

Have monthly check-ins

This is something that my boyfriend and I have only just recently started and it really is working. Every now and again we have a chat about how we are both feeling in the relationship and what is working and what isn't. We then hash out what needs to be done to fix the issues that are happening and move on from it. By doing this, it means that there isn't a build up of angry tension that explodes one day and it also means that we can sort things out much more quickly. If we feel like we aren't spending enough time together, or one of us isn't pulling their weight as much as the other, we chat about it and sort it out before it goes too far. It's a bit like a mini relationship counselling session. It doesn't always have to be about doom and gloom, you can chat about what is going well too! I think it's important to keep each other up to date on feelings and emotions, it really does help in the long run.

Living with your partner can be a challenge, but if you work out what is best for the both of you, it really can be the most amazing experience. Don't expect it to be like the movies, there will be arguments and tears but there's also lots of laughter and love.

I hope this post has given some insight into living with your other half! Please feel free to comment with any questions.

Lou Katherine x

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  1. Hey I don't know if you remember me, I was in the year below you at Polam. I always enjoy reading these blogs and felt the need to comment on this one as I am in the same situation. You've got some lovely ideas and definitely made some good points on things I already do such as setting aside time for each other, as well as others I hadn't considered such as monthly relationship reviews, so thanks for an interesting different perspective on it all!

  2. Hey Sophia, yeah of course I remember you! I'm glad that you read this and it resonated with you. Good luck with your home and your relationship!
    Lou x